Nancy Cunard/Squirter

Saturday, 2009

I decided to pack it in that night…being in a band. I’d probably stick to the music all the same. Didn’t need any of these other cunts holding me back! Would probably empty out ma bank account, sell my guitar and get one of those big analog synths second-hand…one of those big Soviet fuckers…Polyvox or something…would just play drones and harsh noise on it…piss every cunt off…or not, whatever. I decided I didn’t want to be in a band. There’s nae point hoping for universal salvation when cunts don’t even appreciate what they’re being given…don’t they know that I’m some sort of prophet?…I’m not though…not even close. Would probably figure out a way to live quietly…would find a way to keep reading books for a living, somehow, but making music with others was done. The decision was easy enough. Hungover again this morning…stayed in the pub for a few more and headed back to Ally’s flat for the cans, which turned out to be out of date Strongbow. Gutted. Shouldn’t be allowed to give the impression that you’ve got loads of cans when what you’ve actually got, right, are cans of Strongbow, and out of date ones at that. Disgusting. Tanned about seven of them anyway. By this point the electric shocks had become pretty regular, cutting through every one of my thoughts every couple of minutes…drank more to dampen the effects…didn’t seem to be working. We sat around mostly in silence, drinking in Ally’s living room…a spacious two bedroom flat in Dowanhill which his burd’s parents had bought for her…they lived around the corner on Observatory Road. He’d got his cock in the till…only had to keep it there and he’d be sorted. He’ll probably fuck it up, let’s face it. She seemed like a nightmare. I drained the final dregs of disgusting cider from one can, sat back on the couch and looked around the room. Benoit had taken a large pouch of ketamine out of his pocket and started laying lines on a CD case…The Texas-Jerusalem Crossroads…Ally suddenly livened up after looking at his phone…his burd had gone to some night at the Arches…he said we could get on the guest list if we wanted.

We ended up going along. I’d taken a line of ketamine and felt pretty out of it by the time