Why Don’t We Take Stalking More Seriously?
Deep Dives
Explore related topics with these Wikipedia articles, rewritten for enjoyable reading:
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Stalking
13 min read
The article's central subject - provides comprehensive background on the psychology, legal definitions, statistics, and history of stalking as a recognized crime, which would deepen understanding of why it wasn't taken seriously until recently
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Intimate partner violence
12 min read
The article discusses 'intimate partner stalking' as the most dangerous form - this topic provides scientific context on the patterns of abuse, escalation dynamics, and why victims often don't recognize warning signs until it's too late
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This story was originally published on thewalrus.ca
This story contains details about sexual assault and violence that some readers may find disturbing.
Colette Martin first met the man who nearly murdered her in 1997 at the Opera House, a now-defunct nightclub in Miramichi, New Brunswick. Then twenty-six, Martin lived in the nearby town of Baie-Saint-Anne, where she worked for her family’s fish- and lobster-buying company. She knew everyone in the small Acadian community, and everyone knew her.
But the man she met that January night was originally from Montreal and visiting from Moncton, where he went to university and played for a senior hockey league team. He was in town for a game. She found him good looking and noted that he was younger than her. The two began dating, and for the first few months, “things were really good. I didn’t see any red flags,” Martin says. They saw each other in person whenever she travelled with his hockey team for games, as most of the players’ wives and girlfriends did.
After seven months together, and at the boyfriend’s repeated requests, Martin let him move in with her. But soon, she began noticing things she didn’t like. His moods shifted unpredictably, and he displayed controlling behaviour. “I was always on pins and needles. He would call me twenty times a day, checking to see where I was. He would watch what I ate and wanted me to exercise. He tried to isolate me from my friends and family,” she says. And though Martin didn’t fully understand the psychology of abuse, she knew she had to protect her six-year-old son, from a previous relationship. So, after three months of living together, she ended things.
At first, her ex seemed to take the breakup well. He packed most of his belongings and returned to Montreal. But a couple of months later, he was back in New Brunswick. “I found out because he started writing love letters and calling every day, telling me he wanted me back,” says Martin. Though she never responded to his letters, and even though when he called, she made sure to explain firmly that she was not interested, he didn’t stop contacting her.
Martin didn’t alert the authorities at any point. This is something she’s been questioned on often over the years: Why didn’t she report her ex’s behaviour? “I didn’t realize that
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