Will it be a boy or a girl?

Welcome back to Techno Sapiens! I’m Jacqueline Nesi, a psychology professor and mom of two young boys who have started pointing to my belly and asking,“Why is it so big?”1

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5 min read

I’m sitting in a tiny, beige room at the doctor’s office, my elbow sticking slightly to the padded arm of the blood-draw chair. Next to me, the phlebotomist is clacking away at a keyboard.

She glances over at me. Ready for another one?

We’re onto the third of four blood draws this morning. It’s a three-hour glucose test, which means the only thing I’ve ingested in the past 14 hours is a warm, lime-flavored drink with 100 grams of sugar.

There are thoughts swirling around my brain, but I’m having trouble coalescing them into anything coherent. It feels like cotton balls have taken up residence behind my eyes. I’m squinting at a sign on the wall in front of me. I’m confident it’s written in English, with words like “insurance” and “Quest,” but no matter how many times I read it, its meaning fails to translate.

Ready! I lie, wondering if I might pass out.

She approaches with a small needle. And then, as she pokes my arm, it happens. She asks the question.

So, this is your third boy?

Or was it: So, is it a third boy?

Or maybe: So, you’re having a third boy?

I try to replay it a few times in my head, but, buried deep in the brain fog, it’s like a song lyric I can’t quite get right.

I laugh. I don’t know, I say, it’s a surprise!

Baby science, just for me

With my first two children, my husband and I found out the sex of the baby as soon as possible. No fanfare, no balloons, no cake with blue frosting—just an eagerly-awaited, 12-week phone call and a yes, we want to know right now.

We now have two boys who are, objectively, the most perfect, loving, curious, smart, adorable children in the history of all children.

For our third child, we’re opting to wait until the birth to find out. And no matter how many times I try decoding that phlebotomist’s question—did she ruin the surprise after looking at my medical chart? Or was she simply asking?—the suspense is only building.

So, when the ...