Learning as If Life Depended on It

There was a moment about five years ago when millions of people were suddenly running out of breath, hospitals were besieged, and I was scared. I found myself up late at night, trying to figure out whether to send my sons to their schools that had recently reopened. There were not yet vaccines or adequate medicines available to deal with COVID-19, and as a type-one diabetic, I was in an at-risk group, strongly advised to ‘shield’ and stay at home. The chance of becoming seriously unwell was high, and the possibility of dying was not negligible. It appeared that younger children could contract the disease and take it home with them, and the idea that my sons might unwittingly become patricidal biological weapons was not a happy one.

And yet, education really matters. The children were bouncing off the walls at home, the whole family wanted them to be at school, and we didn’t know how long the situation would last. My wife Siva left the research to me, and I spent hours reading epidemiology papers and following public health experts on Twitter, trying to make a sound decision in good conscience. (A dark detail from the time - there was one research paper for every 16 Covid-related deaths). The ethics of the relationship between knowledge and action had never felt so palpable.

I sought to grasp both the hazard - the increased likelihood of getting Covid if the boys went to school, and the harm - was there really a threat to life? It seems bizarre now, but it really did feel like an existential decision. I remember thinking: this is how it feels to learn as if knowledge really matters. This is how it feels for truth to be a kind of oxygen, for my continued existence to depend on making full use of my capacity to make sense of the world.

My sons stayed home for a couple more weeks, and I wrote about the decision on Medium (before I knew about Substack). Thankfully, new knowledge soon came to light that changed the odds, or maybe I just needed to feel that I could say no, to feel I could protect what I cared for. I managed to avoid getting Covid until two years later, by which time I was already vaccinated and felt much less at risk. What I am keen to convey now is ...