And The Cartoon Girls Go "Do Da Doo Da Doo"...

I.

FIELD COMMANDER F. FINSTER:

On the record, I want to say that the damn thing was none of my doing. What I mean is, it never would have gotten off the ground if I had not been so grievously disobeyed. Normally, seeing as I’m the number two person here, anyone going against what I say gets turfed out quick, but, seeing as it was supposedly in “such a good cause”, I got overruled by the big boss on that one.

However, that does not mean that it was a good idea.

Far from it!

Let me explain….

*

It all began when I was busy shuffling paper around like I was before you came in. Typical summer weather-hot- so we were all kind of short with each other, more than usual. But I knew something serious was up when my secretary, Lieutenant Flint, came in.

“Fish Face is coming in,” she said. “I’m gonna go put cotton in my ears for when….”

“Who?” I asked.

“You know! Bess!”

“Use her proper title, please.”

“All right! Captain Fishelman. Do we have to go through this all the time? I mean, we all pretty much know each other by now, and….”

I cut her off with a pre-emptive grunt.

“Regardless of how much we know, like or dislike each other here in the Cartoon Republican Army”, I said, “we will endeavor to treat each other with respect at all times. This is essential to our smooth, functional operation, both as a full organization and independent units…”

“You know,” she interrupted, “if you spent less time talking like a textbook all the time, then maybe

we’d…”

“Are you implying something, Lieutenant?”

“No! At least, I didn’t think I was…”

I glared at her long enough to convey my displeasure with her, and then artificially plastered on a smile.

“Just get out of my office, and don’t come back here until “Fish Face” gets here- so you can warn me. ‘K?”

She nodded and exited.

*

CAPTAIN B. FISHELMAN:

Oh, sure. I know that BITCH Finster told you I’m a tool, and that it was me and my ego that fueled the whole shindig.

Well, she is a 24 karat LIAR!

This ‘toon fish has given too much of herself to this cause for anyone- especially not that over-ranked COW- not to recognize it.

Repre-ZENT!

Now, the timing of this was