Is Being a Stay-At-Home Parent the Most Stressful Job in the World?

Source: Elina Fairytale/Pexels

Important note: The term “stay-at-home parent” will be used as short-hand for a parent who does not have formal employment outside of the home. It is an outdated and inaccurate term but unfortunately it remains the most recognized term for this occupation. The term “working parent” will be used as short-hand for parents that are employed outside of the home (or who work remotely from home). Of course, “stay-at-home” parents do not just sit around the house and both types of parents are undoubtedly working very hard. It is also increasingly difficult to categorize parents into just one of these categories given the part-time, freelance, and remote work available to parents now. Finally, nearly all of the research described below includes exclusively mothers. Unfortunately, there is very little research on how men balance career and family and even less on stay-at-home fathers (stay tuned for a future newsletter on this topic though).

A follower recently sent me an Instagram post claiming that stay-at-home mothers have higher levels of cortisol (translation: the stress hormone) than 98% of the highest paid professions. I had to dig deeper and know the truth— is being a stay-at-home parent really more stressful than nearly every other job? Having been a stay-at-home parent myself, I can attest that it sometimes feels this way. Yet, having also been a working parent, I know that there are unique challenges associated with jobs outside of the home. At the same time, it seems that increasing numbers of women are interested in being stay-at-home mothers because they believe that this career path is easier than climbing the corporate ladder (see here to read more about the Trad Wife movement). So the question of whether being a stay-at-home mother is the most stressful occupation feels particularly relevant.

Like many “facts” on social media, it was hard to find the source of this statistic. Finally, I found a clip from a podcast in which psychologist Rick Hanson claimed that “98% of the occupations in the world are less stressful than being home alone with young children or managing their day-to-day activities.” He suggests that this statistic is based on research and states that the lack of control, the interruptions, and the intense emotions of being a stay-at-home parent contributes to its stressful nature.

@gina_hendricksonReplying to @thoughtdetector9000 that’s exactly what we’re saying 🤷🏻‍♀️

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