Is Stress Good for Your Kids?

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One of the parenting mantras that I say to parents (and to myself) over and over again is this: “A manageable amount of stress in the presence of a loving caregiver is GOOD for children.” What this means is that even some of the “difficult” moments your child faces, or the mistakes you make as a parent, can actually be beneficial for their growth and resilience.

Although every parent knows they can’t shield their children from all hardships, none of us want to see our kids struggle—it goes against every instinct we have. Imagine the feeling when you find out your child is being bullied at school or that they cried when you dropped them off at preschool. Your immediate urge is to fix the situation and make it better. Sometimes, if you can’t, you might even blame yourself. It can be even more painful to realize that a parenting mistake might have caused your child some difficulty—maybe you forgot to sign them up for the soccer team, or allowed them to watch a movie that gave them nightmares for weeks.

It is beyond painful to see our children go through these experiences. Yet, we also know that if we remove every hardship or stressful event from their childhoods, they will grow up not knowing how to face the inevitable challenges that life throws their way. Although it might be painful to witness, it is vastly better for them to learn how to cope with these situations while they are still under our roof than when they are on their own as an adult.

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