Toward Computer Psychology

The State of Me, Computer Psychologist

I always assume that I’m the dumbest person in the room until proven otherwise. This is better understood as a neuroses rather than humility. If you ask me if it’s likely I’m the dumbest person in the room, as a purely intellectual question, I would do some hemming and hawing before answering with some form of, “Probably not.”

Whenever I open my mouth, however, I expect people to look at me like I’m stupid.

I’m a bad talker, especially when sleep deprived. I’ll say something and people will immediately disregard it and I’ll think, there I go again, opening my big stupid mouth. It can be really bad. Sometimes someone will repeat my actual words back to me and then I’ll fall over myself trying to correct… myself.

This is an exaggerated example of me explaining how to count to ten:

In my mind: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 but done immediately before moving onto another topic so it’s no longer stored in my brain that way.

Out of my mouth: “Seven. Oh sorry, you’re right you need six first. I’m just saying don’t forget the reason you’re doing that is to get to nine and then ten. Does anyone remember that cartoon Voltron? That music went so hard. It’s incredible how that was the level of quality for a children’s cartoon a few decades ago. But you feel this sense of progression listening to that music just like when you’re counting, yeah? The music is going somewhere. Oh yeah yeah, start with one. I’m not saying don’t start with one. One is essential. One sets up the whole thing. That’s a given. Duck Tales is another banger, it’s been almost four decades and I can still remember almost all the lyrics. ‘Whoo-oo’ just speaks to me somehow but it starts by analogizing life in the city of Duckburg to a hurricane. Why’d I start at seven then? Well, the tricky part is seven. Seven is how you bridge between six and eight and that’s where our core value is at. It’s the last odd number in the single digits that’s prime. Seven ate nine? Don’t you see? Um… I’m not saying this right. Oh man! You know what I haven’t thought about for years? Darkwing Duck! I guess maybe that’s why I’m skipping steps because it lives in the same place in my head as