Glowsticks and Parables

I’ve spent almost thirty years returning to a single sentence that Jesus spoke about a woman who loses a coin. To be lost, I thought, was not about circumstance but a reflection of my own disbelief and unworthiness. Then one day I heard a line that completely dismantled my thinking: “It wasn’t the coin’s fault that it was lost. It was just lost.” I was just beginning the return to church after feeling far away from religion for many years. As my testimony grew, a heavy feeling of guilt about my past actions grew along with it. When I heard about the lost coin parable, also called the parable of the piece of silver found in Luke 15, and the lack of blame in the story, the words helped to release the shame I was feeling inside. They also let me know that a loving Heavenly Father and Mother understood the forces that shaped me but also wanted me found.

Since then, I have studied the lost coin parable, turned it over, looked at the original Greek, traced every detail, and tried to uncover the hidden context. Put at its simplest, I have found the story is about a woman who becomes a seeker when something precious falls beyond the edges of her knowing, and in response, she lights a candle. The woman’s actions seem to be a guide about how to respond to complicated situations and the people we love caught inside of them. The wider context of the parable is about inclusion, worth, and the movement towards those who are living outside of our current understanding. This simple story, the heart of which is told in one single verse, would one day teach me how to respond to the most complex challenge of my life.

I didn’t realize that I was about to begin my own search as I drove down the road on an ordinary afternoon with my youngest child, then fourteen. The atmosphere was tense as they fidgeted next to me, pulling at the sleeve of their ripped black hoodie. Then, with a mixture of fear and hope, they began the most surprising conversation we’ve ever had. “I feel like a boy inside. I want to be a boy.” I want to be a boy and not a girl. The words hung heavy in the air. I could feel my child’s gaze on me, waiting for