Am I doing this right?

Hi there, sapiens. How was your weekend? We spent ours packing for an upcoming move, which mostly meant digging grumpily through long-forgotten piles of children’s toys. This resulted in only one "accidental” discarding of a book that resulted in tears, so I’d say it was a success!1

Speaking of feeling guilty, for this month’s Q&A we’ve got a reader question that will be familiar to many parents, about screen time guilt and setting limits.

I’ll also be sharing some of the guiding principles I use for managing tech in my own house.

Remember to submit your questions for future posts by replying directly to this email or posting in the chat!

9 min read

Everything I read about parenting and screens talks about the importance of “setting limits.” But sometimes I just need a break, or to get stuff done! I’m constantly torn between feeling like I *should* be limiting my kids’ screen time and also feeling like it’s actually impossible to do that all the time. And feeling guilty about it all! Help!

When people find out what I do for a living, an interesting thing happens.

I’ll be making small talk with a fellow parent, cycling through topics, when I happen to share that my work focuses on kids and technology. Suddenly, there’s a shift. My once confident conversation partners are now cautious, unsure, guilt-ridden.

I usually put on a movie for the kids in the afternoon, they’ll say, followed quickly by, I know that’s probably so bad.

Or: Oh god, you do NOT want to know what’s happening at our house with screen time. I really should be limiting it more.

Or: I let my kid watch so much Peppa Pig that they started speaking in a British accent. It’s concerning (but also adorable).

All to say: I can imagine there are many parents out there who feel this question was plucked from their very brains.

Do *good parents* allow screen time?

In recent years, there has been a shift in our cultural understanding of screen time. Screens have become simultaneously ubiquitous and vilified. Surely, good parents limit their kids’ screen time, and the best parents? No screen time at all.

Screens have become yet another emblem of the march toward intensive parenting. We must constantly be doing the most as parents—optimizing each moment of our children’s lives, maximizing opportunities for growth and development. ...