106: Poet Kate Baer on paying attention, anxiety & balance in motherhood

Welcome to Two Truths, a bestselling newsletter exploring the many truths of motherhood from journalists & maternal health advocates Cassie Shortsleeve & Kelsey Haywood Lucas of Motherspeak. Two Truths is rooted in the healing & affirming principle that two (or more) things can be true. It’s a “best parenting Substack” per Motherly and The Skimm says you should subscribe; also seen on Vox, TODAY.com, HuffPo & more.

Poet ’s words—or, in the case of her popular erasure poetry, the absence of them—have become connective tissue for women and mothers everywhere.

You read her work and you think, yes, that’s it. Take ‘The Postpartum Questionnaire,’ in which she translates a familiar clinical screening (the Edinburgh Scale used to diagnose postpartum depression and anxiety) into an achingly familiar feeling (“I have lost my grip on this world and can no longer see what use to sit in front of me”).

With close to a quarter of a million Instagram followers, Baer remains fairly private (you won’t find her face all over her feed) and refreshingly forthcoming—a recent issue of her newsletter was entitled ‘on losing track of my rectum (and other problems).’

She’s as open about her struggles in early motherhood, medication, and the importance of childcare as she is about unexpected joys, the magic of female friendship, and the power of support.

Baer is a mom of four and a three-time New York Times best-selling poet (What Kind of Woman, I Hope This Finds You Well, and And Yet). Her fourth book, How About Now, is out today. We were thrilled to speak with her about it—plus her writing process, maternal mental health, burnout, relationships, and more.

—Cassie & Kelsey

Very often, reading your poetry makes us feel—and we mean this in the most complimentary way possible—like we got punched in the gut. It takes our breath away. You have this incredible ability to make life—the messy moments, the average moments, all of the moments—feel poignant and profound; you are hyper specific in your phrasing, and yet women everywhere relate deeply to what you write. How do you do it? What is your process like? Are you jotting observations and ideas down every day? Do you walk around thinking in verse? Where does all your wisdom come from—and