Contra Jameela Jamil on Children

, who acted in one of my favorite shows, The Good Place, is on substack. And unlike a lot of celebrity writers, she actually writes quite well. I also faintly recall her reviewing some book I enjoyed, and giving a positive review—so let “I’m pretty sure she liked some book that I also liked,” be a major character endorsement. However, Jamil recently wrote an article called I don’t want children. I don’t want children. I don’t want children. I don’t want children. You might be able to guess what it was about.

The article went insanely viral. And a lot of it consisted of arguments against having children, rather than mere descriptions of why she doesn’t want children. For this reason, I thought it would be worth responding to. My view is that having children is a very good thing. It’s probably the best thing most people do, rather like donating a kidney. So while it shouldn’t be compulsory or anything, it’s a good thing to do, and it should be encouraged. It gives life to a person, which is a very good thing. It’s good to live a happy life. The best thing anyone ever did for you was creating you.

Jamil described one criticism as “so embarrassingly white,” so hopefully my piece will avoid falling into that trap (despite my embarrassing caucacity). I’ll also avoid talking about the personal points she makes, like the fact that she doesn’t like kids. I just don’t really have anything interesting to say about whether Jamil likes kids. It seems to me that she’d be a better judge of that than me!

I don’t want to voluntarily risk grave, life altering illness, or death for anything or anyone. An astonishing number of women encounter this during pregnancy, and that sounds fucking awful to me. The woman who lost all of her teeth due to pregnancy lives in my head rent free. This is before the aftermath of the 18 months of physical and psychological recovery, hormones falling off a cliff, immense relationship strain, and literal years of insomnia. No thanks! Sorry!

Risk of death or serious injury from pregnancy is fairly low. About 600 people die from childbearing in a year, in the U.S.. Your risk of dying from pregnancy is about as high as your risk from dying in a year of driving. That’s not ...